December 25, 2005
Dear Diary,
Got a Christmas present in the mail today from George Jr. and Little Dicky. At first I felt kind of bad because I hadn't sent them anything. But then I opened the box. It was a spiral-cut, honey baked ham, a bottle of Scotch, the Gideon Bible with the 'Property of the DC Marriot' sticker still intact and a used copy of The Complete Infidel's Guide to Islam. I hate those two. And they wonder why I took out their towers. At least Bill just sent me porn and cigars.
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