Darth Bubba Beaming Out

Been watchin’ that Foxy News Network again. That Megyn Kelly warn’t on, but since Ellie Sue done and gone back into the house again, I reckon I had no choice but to stash my binoculars and watch anyways. And boy howdy, but I can’t rightly git that thinkin’ what comes out o’ them burrocrats’ noggins. Guvment illogic strikes my groin yet again. Turns out that great state of Georgia (by gum, but that state turns out some mighty fine, plump peaches, if you know what I mean) executes killers usin’ lethal injection. Whiles I’ve always been partial to a good lynchin’ myself, I won’t fault them for being too soft and merciful. They are burnin’ the trash, after all. But it turns out they use a drug called thiopental to painlessly send these murderers straight into the bowels of Hades wheres they belong, and the great state of Georgia don’t use this drug for nothin’ else. Though, on account of it’s also used as a truth serum, I reckon we ought to be usin’ it nonstop and round the clock on all politicians, side effects be hanged.

But anyways, first, the guvment holds up all the drug Georgia was waitin’ on in customs. Then, when the guvment still wouldn’t let the drugs out o’ customs, Georgia finds a new dealer, a bunch of filthy Europeans, but I reckon that was their only choice. Problem is it seems the guvment heard tell that Georgia was getting’ their stash o’ drugs from some filthy Europeans, and the guvment didn’t like the filthy Europeans on account of they hadn’t yet allowed the FDA to have its way with them. So’s the guvment goes and confiscates all o’ Georgia’s drugs on account of they might not be safe cause they was cooked up by filthy Europeans. I reckon the guvment is worried that a drug use to kill people is unsafe.

Now, I’m not a doctor, but I pay the one what Ellie Sue visits a monthly stipend to put those hidden camera thingies in her waitin’ room, and boy howdy, unless the harmful side effect of the drug is violent zombification, I’m not too worried bout what may or may not happen to the corpse what took the drug. Rather akin to worryin' about whether the bullet you shot the trespasser with will give him lead poisoning. I aint worryin' bout it. So’s, here’s my plan, Georgia. You go on and just go ahead and call yer dealer and have him deliver the goods to me. In exchange for just a few o’ those fine, squeezable Georgia peaches, I’d be more than happy to scoot them drugs up my scooter and then scoot them right cross the border for you. It’s the least I can do to ensure justice is served. And if you disagree with me, you must be an atheist serial killer who don’t like soft, supple peaches. And this is Darth Bubba, beaming out.