Been watchin’ that Foxy News network again on account of Ellie Sue had that gardener o’ hers install the privacy slats in that 10 foot chain link she put up. That’s a hundred dollar binoculars down the john. But anyways, that Megyn Kelly was sayin’ somethin’ about buildin’ that there border fence. Her lips was sayin’ no, but her eyes was sayin’ Oh yes, Darth, yes, yes, yes. I can tell this on account of I’m very astute at readin’ the womenfolk.
Now, it made me consider things a bit. I used to be wantin’ that border fence put up somethin’ fierce, but I’m not too big a man to admit what I may have come to that conclusion a bit too hasty. You see, Ellie Sue’s been using this Mexican fella from Argentina to do her gardening. Turns out he’s a real stand up fella. He was more than willing to rig up those motion sensitive cameras in Ellie Sue’s backyard the next time he goes on over to trim up the bushes. After our amenable transaction, I thought mebee I’d a judged these Mexican folk a bit too harshly.
Then I recalled noticin’ that that hippy family down the road apiece always corralled their sickly hippy youngins into the house when the gardener was about. Then I realized somethin’. I don’t rightly recall ever hearin’ nothing about bothersome hippy infestations in Mexico. Mebee the problem ain’t that we have too many illegal Mexicans. Mebee the problem is that we don’t have enough. That’s when it struck me clear as Zima. Where are most folks complainin’ the most about too many illegal Mexicans? California. Which state of the nation boasts the highest amounts of filthy hippies? California. We’ve been duped. Who benefits? That whole border fence thingie is a scam. A blasted, filthy hippy conspiracy. Those hippies are just aimin’ to keep out their primary natural predator, illegal Mexicans.
Burns me up, it does, bein’ taken in by hippies. Time to fight fire with water or dirt or mebee one of those new fangled fire extinguishers. Sure don’t want to fight it with fire. Tried that once, and that didn’t end well. Turns out fire don’t put out fire so much. Just makes more fire. Bet those filthy hippies started that sayin’. Stupid hippies. Probably thought it up while they was all trippin’ on LDS.
But anyways, I recollect it’s like when we had that infestation of cats, so’s we brought in those timber rattlers to take care of the cat menace. Then we brought in those mongoose thingies to deal with the snakes and then the dingos to take care of the mongooses. Worked out wicked good. We can take care of the dingos ourselves, and only lose a few babies a year. Circle of life.
So’s I reckon what we are in need of is not a fence on the border of Mexico but a fence on the border of California. Let the Mexicans come across the border into us regular states to chase all the hippies back behind the California fence and problem solved. Contain the crazy. Then don’t let nobody out of the state no how until they can prove that their dehippification is complete. They created the fiscal mess that is California, and now they’s aimin’ to escape their consequences and spread the crazy elsewhere. Don’t let none of them out til they fix the crazy.
Then, of course, we may need to consider who is the Mexicans’ natural predator so’s us regular folk ain’t overrun. What place did those conquistadors come from? Conquistadomenia? Is that in Cuba now? I reckon I’ll have to have Bobby Jo check that intertube thingie for me. And this is Darth Bubba, beamin’ out.
No comments:
Post a Comment