Well, seems that Obama fella finally let the press see his new fake birth certificate, so's I guess we needs to spread some more rumors about him. There are a might plenty of odd things about him that border on the mysterious that just reek of anti-american conspiracies. Just what 'xactly is them mysteries, yall might ask. Well let me tell you:
1) How come, exactly, is Obama never seen at the same time as Aquaman?
2) Exactly why was he missing for seven days last February, and why did he come back two inches shorter and hairless?
3) Why does he sometimes refer to himself as Linda Goldstein?
4) Why did he give explicit instructions to the White House staff to never write his name backwards in red?
5) Why does the laughter of small children cause him to repulse?
6) Why has he never been seen photographed with a chicken or any kind of melon?
7) Why does he have an unexplainable fear of wallpaper?
8) Why won't he release the six months worth of e-mail exchanges between himself and someone known as Sauron?
9) Why, though being seen at the beach often, does he never put so much as a toe in the water?
10) Why, for the longest time, did he insist that Michelle and the kids wear tin foil undergarments, while he was going California style?
11) Why was he seen offering burnt sacrifice in the 17th floor restroom of WT7 on September 10th?
12) Why, if you look very closely at the Apollo landing photographs, can you see the reflection of Obama's full moon in the side of the lander?
13) Why, exactly, did Obama and Qadaffi use the same Brazilian plastic surgeon?
14) Why has he never been seen without wearing socks?
15) Why does he spit to the left and hop in a circle three times each time he touches a bush?
16) Why was he overheard saying the following to Joe Biden: "Kidnapping is such a loaded term. Think of it as surprise adoption."?
17) Why does he look out the window each night before going to bed and whisper: "Bonobo. I'm ready now."?
Remember, I'm just asking questions.
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