Sunday, May 15, 2011

Every Little Thing is Gonna Be All Right

We kept waiting to hear the bad news from the White House, but nothing came.  We should have known there was nothing our dear sweet President could not overcome.  The witch was no match for our dear Barak.  Turns out he has he own African witchdoctor and voodoo priestess on staff.  They saw O'Donnell and her minons coming a mile away, and they have imprisoned them all in an enchanted urn and sunk it in the Potomac.  Clearly, European witchcraft is no match for the dark African arts.  Is there no way in which the ancient cultures of African and Haiti do not exceed our own?

Problem is, the government confiscated the Jackson-2000 Skin De-pigmentizer.  Said the technology was far too dangerous.  It could instantly destroy the entire affirmative action program and the entire bureaucracy built up around it.  And, don't you know, he never could get elected again without the non-white voters.  Can't do anything to upset that fine equilibrium.  So Lactose will never be able to finish his treatment now.  Maybe he can get the tatoo of a big white butt on his big black butt.

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