Bin Laden's Diary Part 8

December 13, 2003

Dear Diary,

Saddam must be getting a little bit bored and a lot bit insane. He keeps on bugging me on FB chat from his hidey rathole. Like I have time for his Shiite. Here’s a transcript of his latest.

SadH76: Hey dude. How’s it hanging?

OBL1: Like a donk, bro. SSDD.

SadH76: Have a lot of time to think. Designed a program for you to train up young recruits.

OBL1: ?

SadH76: Yeah. Like scouts for little martyrs. I’m working up merit badges and stuff.

SadH76: U know, standard skills: wife-beating, bomb construction, Sharia, field surgery, etc. I’m calling the group Jihadis Eliminating Western Society.

OBL1: U R aware the acronym would be JEWS?

SadH76: Duh. Not very optimal, huh?

SadH76: How about Crusading Heroes Raiding Israeli Society Today?

OBL1: Ok, now I know you’re goofing on me.

SadH76: HAHAHA. Can u smuggle me in some Doritos?

If I didn’t need his support? Wait a minute. I don’t. But I do still have Condi on speed dial…..